Cupertino, CA — Well, that’s a relief. It turns out that Steve Jobs isn’t a secret ninja after all.

We now know that those ninja stars found in Steve’s bag at Japan’s Kansai International Airport were actually top-secret Apple prototypes.

Today Apple announced the “dangerously cool” iPod ninja, the last of the new 2010 iPod family. This razor-thin iPod combines the fun of entertainment with the thrill of lethal weaponry. And it’s super-easy to buy.

All you have to do is show a photo ID, fill out a form, then wait three days for approval by the National Criminal Background Check system.

“iPod ninja fits into that sweet spot between the iPod touch and a small handgun,” says Apple spokesperson Ted Wetmore. “It gives you peace of mind. You can either enjoy your music on the device — or you can fling it at anyone who looks at you funny. With a little practice, you can take down a foe at 50 feet.”

However, there is a dark side to the new iPod. As iPod ninja sales boom, some blogs are already reporting a “death grip” problem even worse than the one that plagued iPhone 4. If you hold iPod ninja in a certain way, you may require immediate medical care.

“There is a learning curve,” admits Mr. Berry, “and Apple does recommend the use of a protective case.”

With first-day sales of iPod ninja exceeding estimates, some analysts speculate that Apple is already at work on more weaponized iPods. Next up: iPod taser?

Via http://scoopertino.com/steve-jobs-ninja-stars-revealed-to-be-ipod-prototypes/

Apple has made a big effort to clean up its App Store this month, getting rid of any apps which include pornographic material. But Why?

You may think this is a stupid question.

You might be saying its because pornography is “bad”, and that a company with such a massive consumer base such as Apple can’t be seen to be pedaling smut.

or

That with the unveiling of the new iPad, Apple may want to get the device into schools and family orientated groups where having iPorn or BoobPod a touch away isn’t really a savvy idea.

but you would be wrong…

Who we really have to thank for deleting thousands titillating apps is the man. Steve Jobs.

Not because Steve is a prude and doesn’t like an iWank every now and then, but because he is a lover and a giver and believes that no man or woman should pay for porn.

With every device being able to run the Safari web browser and with there being a search bar within the browser, there’s no need to buy applications.

In the words of Steve Jobs, “Don’t people know they can get this stuff for free!?”

Now if you knew me you would find it odd that I am spending time talking about a device that is the antithesis of everything i technologically stand for. I, like most of the world, am a foot soldier of the apple revolution. The first computer our family owned was a PowerMac, my first music player an iPod 4G, the computer I am writing this on right now is a MacBook. I just love the sleek ease of use and stunning visual experience that comes with an using an Apple product. So far no other company has been able to compete with the interstellar giants that have somehow achieved world domination through the means of little white earphones, but there could soon be a contender…

By no means a new kid on the block the original Microsoft Zune was released in 2007 in a 30GB 3 inch colour screen model as a challenger to the iPod 5G. whilst the Zune has always been a contender when it come down to looks, it has never been able to pack a punch for ease of use or supporting programs. Lets face it when you’ve got iTunes in your corner you’re halfway home.

This latest model in the Zune line is quite frankly stunning.

with an OS design you’d expect to see at an award winning art exhibition it is a joy to look at. Although the Zune HD isn’t ready for market yet the future is looking bright for Microsoft. Lets just see if they can achieve integration with the rest of their products such as the Xbox 360 and the upcoming Natal interface they have pioneered.

Hhm… We’ll see

The Jay

Check the video below for a hands on experience.